dyanna’s blog

I’m bushed. As in tired…knackered…fatigued…drained…sleepy…achy…etc

You get the idea.

The above gallery has to do with this post. I promise.

I’m all unpacked. Took me two hours after the ‘rents left. I think that’s some sort of record. Though i didn’t have to stand and go…”hmm where should i put this?” lol. Everything is back where it was last year.

Except my crabs.

They are enjoying a smaller crabitat…one that doesn’t require a kitchen table to support it. I think they like it. After all..there are only three, so its not like they need a huge aquarium to play around in.

Gosh i’m beat.

It was rough sleeping here last night, the three of us. Alice snores like a lumberjack. It’s not really a snore…its almost like a choking sound. It’s really quite awful. And when she snores, the bed moves and then the springs squeak. So its a snore/squeak/choke/gasp kind of a thing. And it doesn’t follow any sort of rhythm so its really hard to sleep with her around. 

Hence…earplugs! But they didn’t work very well last night, since we were sleeping in an empty, cavernous room so the sound echoed and reverberrated around the room. Plus mom smokes, so she’ sup and down all night making noise and stuff.

So i’m extra tired.

Dad got here at about 11:30 with the rest of my stuff. ie) the heavy stuff. He carried my mini fridge upstairs and buggered his back again. So i got to run everything up and down the stairs (i’m impatient and wouldn’t wait for anyone to take their sweet time doing the stairs so i did most of it myself).  It was gruelling, but i guess i got a good workout from it.

Then as soon as everything was unloaded, dad was impatient to get going to get home so he can go to work tonight. So they left.

Too soon.

Mom cried, again. It’s nice that she misses me, but GOSH. lol. i told her to hug Sassie and give everyone treats for me, and she started crying again. Silly mummy.

Then about ten minutes after they left, i realized Alice forgot her bag, so i had to call them to come back. GAWD.

Then i got sasktel to hook up my cable again. (yay Big Brother!).  So i listened to GBS over and over as i unpacked.

And i’m done. Thank you God.

So now i play the waiting game for everything to start full force again. I’m excited, yet looking forward to Thanksgiving when i can get home again.

Well i’m here. I made it. And my feet and my ass are sore.

We’re camped out in my dorm room, me and the biddies. As in..my mom and my auntie alice. Up at 6, left Camrose at 7:30. Got here at 12:30. Spent 8 hours shopping and driving around S’toon.

I’m tired.

And sleeping on the floor.

I found this picture on the internets. Both freak me out. What the hell is up with somebody allowing a little girl to be photographed wearing just THAT? and what is up with Brooke Shield’s face in the second pic?

Weirdos.

I packed. and packed. and my vow to not take as much stuff to seminary has gone out the window. i just have too much stuff. books, cds, dvds, four suitcases (and counting) of clothes, dishes, towels, shoes, bags, scarves (and i thought Conner had a lot of scarves-yikes), crafty type things, projects, furniture….and that’s only the beginning. i haven’t even touched my toiletries or last minute stuff.

Yikes.

So the plan so far is to leave Friday, stay at Alice’s that night, then us three women are going to have a night in Saskatoon by ourselves on Saturday, then dad is bringing the bulk of my stuff on Sunday and taking the other two broads home.  Then i will be able to attend the opening worship at 7:00 on Sunday evening and have all day monday to unpack before chaos begins on Tuesday.

I am freaking excited. I thought having 5.5 weeks to myself would be awesome. Well the first three days were pretty sweet. The rest of the time has been spent being critically bored.  I think i’ve watched every movie in my collection, dvd and vhs combined. I’ve listened to all my cds over and over. I’ve read every book i can get my hands on. I don’t know how many things i’ve crocheted. I straighten my hair just because it takes an hour, and thats one less hour spent being bored.

egads.

I find that I am craving intellectual stimulation. i know that the chances of finding it at LTS is going to be slim to none (i’m not impressed with the classes so far), but i know the conversations we will have will do the trick. i am so looking forward to going out with my peeps and homies, i truly need to get away and be with people my own age (or younger than my parents at least).

but…

I’m also going to be sad to leave. Mostly because my mom is pretty stressed out, and it hink i act as a buffer for her. And i’m going to leave my menagerie. I’m going to miss them. Especially Sassie, who is going to suffer the most when i leave. she spends every waking moment glued to my side, and every sleeping moment tucked into my bed waiting for me to cuddle her. She’s going to be pretty confused again.

Bad news…

My brother’s dog Tye is going to be put down in about an hour. She’s about 15 and suddenly got very sick. She’s a beautiful, precious dog, and a well loved member of their family, and their extended family.  We’re all going to miss her so much. She’s going to join the pet cemetary under their pine tree, which already includes our dog Tammy, Tye’s mom Star, my hamster Phantom, and Danny’s cat Boots. It’s going to be a sad day for Dawson and Destiny. I think i’m going to take them presents later.

RIP Tye…

For many years, it has been my “M-O” to hide.  Hide behind black clothing, long hair. Hide in my bedroom. Hide from my friends. Say things to people so that they won’t like me.  Hide by sitting in the very last pew in the church. HIde behind a book. hide behind a computer. Hide by not looking people in the eyes. Hide by not going out but staying home. Hide by drinking. Hide by running to my room when a stranger comes to the door. The easiest way i hide is by ignoring people.

so on July 18, 2004 I decided not to hide. I had been a closeted Christian for many years. When i was a teenager, I would pretend to hate God or not want anything to do with religion. This was another way i “hid”. Technically, I guess i wasn’t a Christian. I was a believer, not yet baptized.  The thought of being baptized both thrilled and terrified me. To be welcomed into God’s family was something miraculous to me. often my own family wasn’t that welcoming to me, who often hid from them. So i desperately wanted to be baptized, but my fear of being SEEN prevented me from doing so.

But on jUly 18, 2004 I decided that i didn’t have to hide. Why was I doing it anyways? Who cares if i believe in Christ? Who cares if I read the bible? Sang songs? So i took the plunge-not literally.  I was 20 years old when i was baptized.  I was an adult, yet an infant in the church.  That day was magnificent to me. Our church has only about 12-15 regular congregants, but that day there was about 18, including me, my mom, and my aunt.  I was so nervous the whole time. Not for the actual act, but that people (strangers practically) would see me be baptized. They would be watching me with eagle’s eyes.  Not watching to see me slip up, or do something, but because they were genuinely joyful that i was becoming part of their family. Pastor Krebs said all the words, took the shell, and baptized me in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I felt the water trickle down my forehead and drip off my nose. I reached up to wipe it away, conscious that everyone was looking at me.  Bob gave me my baptismal candle, then handed me a baptismal napkin to wipe the water away.  I blew the candle out, wrapped the napkin around it, and carefully put it back in its box.  Then Pastor Krebs said “peace be with you” and the entire congregation came to me and gave me hugs and kisses.  Carolyn held me for so long, and said “i always knew” (She ws my elementary music teacher for 7 years).  When i got to my mom, she was crying. She hugged me too.

Today I found my baptismal candle as i was searching for my hebrew books. the napkin is still wrapped around it, wrinkled from where it had gotten wet as i wiped the water from my face.  Its such a precious momento to me.   So in the midst of the debris, of countless boxes of books scattered all around my room as i searched for this lone textbook, I was reminded about what baptism means. It means being brought out into the light, being made public. Its about joining a family, and being received with wholehearted joy and celebration. Its about making a statement about what you believe. For me, it was about rebirth. leaving behind my old self, and emerging as an entirely different person. Not someone who hid from the world, but embraced the world and herself, knowing that she is loved and seen by God, even when she is hiding.